Important question! In the post, I am primarily attempting to understand what Peter was saying to his audience in their context. Regarding contemporary application to spousal abuse, I should make a few things clear:

(1) Abuse is wrong and never justified in the Scriptures!

(2) In 1 Peter 3, there is indication that some of these woman were being frightened in the context of their marriage (3:6), though we’re not given details about what might be causing this fear. These women (along with any wife in the audience) were to be submissive in an effort win their husbands (in the case of an unbelieving husband), just as Christians in other situations were to be submissive (citizens, slaves, etc.). This included mistreatment (esp. 2:18, 20; 21-25).

(3) One caveat: the civilian, slave, and wife had no legal recourse in the first century. They had no exit in the world. Thus, Peter advises them to selflessly follow Christ’s example, submit to governing authorities (perhaps Nero at the time!), and give Gospel witness. Today, many women in the world do have legal recourse and live in societies which condemn and punish abusive behavior.

So what might I say to those within an abusive marriage?

(1) You must trust God above all. He is the one who judges righteously and He is a faithful Creator (1 Pet 3:23; 4:19). No matter what happens, He is the Shepherd and Guardian of your soul (3:25).
(2) In any case, ask God to help your actions exemplify Christ and provide witness to the Gospel of Christ as you deal with your husband. This is the priority.
(3) Seek out other believers to walk you through the situation.
(4) If his behavior is potentially lethal and/or illegal, you should seek legal recourse out of submission to the law.
(5) Attempt to reconcile.

I think the most controversial point I have outlined is the priority of Gospel-witness, even above self-protection. The NT gives numerous examples of those who endure hardship for the sake of the Gospel (such as Jesus, Paul, the disciples, Timothy) and those who are called to do so (in nearly every book of the NT).

I don’t have your email (can’t find it on your site). I’ll use this to pass along a message.

I am collecting the blog addresses of MBTS students. If you have any MBTS friends blogging, please pass along the link to the MBTS Blog page.

Steve